Day 5 — Your dreams

My dreams.  I don't even know where to begin.  I'm pretty sure I've lost sight of all my dreams.  Once upon a time I had a nice long list of all the things I wanted to achieve.  I'm thinking now though that I need to revisit this list and make a new one.  I've come to the stark realization that my dreams might be too big to achieve.  However, what's the point of dreaming if you don't dream big?  Although, I guess if you don't then you've got no reason to fail and be disappointed in yourself.

Failure.  Always something I've hated but something I've grown accustomed to.  I don't know.  Maybe this is why it's so easy to be placated even when I don't accomplish anything I want.  Or maybe I've just come to realize some new dreams of mine.  For instance, as much as I would love to work on mass graves I've come to the understanding that I really don't NEED to do it.  I'd be perfectly fine doing something else.  I've kind of gotten the idea into my head of becoming a teacher...despite the fact that I used to hate the idea.  I really do think I'd be good at it.  I love being a substitute teacher and I think I'd enjoy having my own class so much more.  I don't know...just a new thought I've been sitting on.  Unfortunately that means a bit more schooling (I'm never going to finish)!

No matter how much my dreams change (and I expect them to keep on changing), I know I'll end up exactly where I'm supposed to be and I know I'll eventually figure it all out.  Until then I'm just trying to enjoy the journey and learn as much as I possibly can about everything I possibly can.  I'm happy, and all I can hope for is to have much more happy days than sad ones.  A day without laughing is a day wasted, so I'm just going to try to spend as many days laughing as I can.  Other than that, I'm really not worried about what the future may or may not hold.  It will all come together in the end, I'm sure of it.

So, to my dreams.  I will keep discovering and re-evaluating you.  Just keep me company and I'm sure one day we'll meet and everything will come together.


Erin Rae