Dear Mama,
You and I have never exactly been on the same page, but that doesn't really matter. Even through our differences I will always love you. Your my mother and you have been such a great example for us growing up. You always told us how much we loved you, not that I always believed you. I know I was a problem child and I know I'm not perfect...but who is? I make things overly complicated and I'm sorry. I'm also sorry I've been such a disappointment and I haven't done anything with my life. I want you to know that I AM trying to make you proud of me. I just want you to know that I do love you and I would do anything to make sure you always remember that.
I'm sorry you're going through all this stuff with the hospitals and whatnot. I wish I could just take away all the pain and make everything better. But since I can't, I just want you to know that I will be by your side through it all. If you ever need anything, I am here for you. I love you and I will always try to protect you from everything.
Thank you so much for being such a strong woman and showing me that one doesn't need much to be rich in life. You have put up with a lot and have been through a lot and that just makes you all the stronger. Thank you for being the best woman I've ever known and I will love you always.
I will make you proud of me.
Love,
Erin Rae
Dear Papa,
You'll never read this letter, and I never expected you to. You're not a sentimental man in the least. I don't think I've ever seen you show emotion...other than crazy, but I know you love me and I love you too. I'm not entirely sure what to say to you. I just know you and I don't sit and talk like the rest of the family does. You're quite the mystery to me. There's so much about you I don't know and I wish I did, I just don't know how to ask you. I guess one day I'll have to find the way because you're not getting any younger and all too soon you'll be gone and I'll be left with all these questions.
You have your temper and sometimes I hate you for it. But I forgive you. I know your life hasn't been easy and I know sometimes you take out your aggression and anger on the wrong people. We get that. I just wish there was something I could do to take away all that anger so you could just spend the rest of your life happy. I just want you to be happy.
I'm not an easy daughter to have and I know sometimes you feel like I'm not the best I could be. I'd have to agree with you. I'm not. But I also want you to know that I will try my hardest to be who you want me to be. I want you to one day be proud of me and maybe love me.
I love you so much Papa and I hope I get many more years with you.
Love,
Erin Rae
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